Massage parlours in Malta (and that happy ending!!!)




Prostitution is "technically" illegal in Malta, but there is a street in Gzira (just beyond KFC) where the ladies sell their services quite openly.

Ask a taxi driver for KFC on The Silema Strand, then walk 50 yards and turn up the hill, past the petrol station.

There are no words of warning here, because we've never heard of anyone being mugged or robbed by prostitutes here.

Malta is a very safe place to visit. If there is danger, it would be from drunk Brits or East Europeans.


An old lady on Silema Promenade once asked a police officer for directions to the hospital.

"Past the Thai massage, to the next corner and past the Thai massage, cross over and turn right, go left at the next Thai massage, cross over just beyond the next Thai massage, turn up the street, go beyond the next Thai massage and you are there."

He was not joking...

After a good massage, treat yourself to an Indian meal. Great food, great prices, great atmosphere...!

  Get the protein back in your body!

Paceville in St. Julians has several massage parlours, Bugibba has a few, Silema has more Thai massage parlours than grocery shops, a lot more, so take your pick. In Paceville the ladies often assume that you want a happy ending, and tell you how attractive you are, and ask for 20 euro on top of the 30-40 euro you paid for the massage. If you want to pay 50 euro to be tossed off by a middle-aged Thai lady, then you will be in luck in Paceville. But maybe you can think of better things to spend 50 euro on, such as a curry for 2.

The other Thai & Chinese massage parlours offer genuine massages at 30-35 euro, and they are great. You can also do the joint massage with the wife.


If the little lady massages your balls, then she probably wants to give you a happy ending, and you'll need to offer an extra 20 euro. If nothing happens, get dressed and leave before being thrown out. Don't forget your nice cup of herbal tea before you leave.

Most of the massage parlours in Silema have thin walls and gaps, so that anything going on can be heard by the boss. It is best not to expect anything.